Reassurance Seeking - Part 1
Reassurance seeking is a common behavior for those suffering from anxiety disorders and OCD. Like many symptoms of anxiety and OCD, reassurance seeking can provide temporary relief but also make anxiety worse in the long term.
What is reassurance seeking?
Reassurance seeking involves repeatedly searching for confirmation from others related to some feared outcome, even after confirmation has already been provided.
For example, a child with separation anxiety might seek reassurance from their parent. They might ask “will you pick me up after school?” when being dropped off at school. If the parents answers this once, they are providing information. If someone (such as the child) asks the same question that has already been answered more than once, that’s called reassurance seeking.
Why would the child keep asking this question? Reassurance seeking behaviors are often our brains’ way of seeking short term relief from anxiety. An anxious child might still feel anxious at drop off after being told that the parent will come pick them up, in part because this is a situation that might be unfamiliar and where anxiety is normal. By providing additional reassurance in this situation, what happens?
Reassurance provided (e.g., repeatedly answering questions)
Short-term outcome - Temporary anxiety relief
Long term outcome - Reassurance seeking behavior is strengthened (reinforced) and more likely to occur the next time that the person is in this situation. THE PROBLEMATIC PATTERN IS STRENGTHENED!
Reassurance not provided
Short-term outcome - Temporary anxiety increase
Long term outcome - When reassurance seeking is consistently blocked, the person can learn that they can tolerate their anxiety without seeking reassurance and that their anxiety will reduce even without reassurance. NEW LEARNING OCCURS!
So what does this mean?
Providing reassurance can make anxiety worse in the long term. In anxiety and OCD treatment, we work to remove reassurance by therapists, loved ones, and even oneself. This can be challenging at first, but it allows people with OCD to learn that they can tolerate anxiety without reassurance.
In my next post, I’ll discuss effective ways to respond to reassurance-seeking behaviors in order to promote effective exposure and response prevention for anxiety and OCD.
Dr. Brooke Monaco is one of Pelham’s most trusted clinical psychologists. She specializes in Anxiety Disorders, OCD, ADHD, and Substance Use Disorders. Reach out today to learn more about how Dr. Monaco can help you and your loved ones.